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corvo) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fruitjuiced2025-12-25 07:07 pm
corvo) wrote in fruitjuiced2025-12-25 07:07 pm
2025 fic roundup
New year's drill, same as the old year's drill. You know it.
Total Published: 11
I think June was the first time I directly acknowledged I was burned out. But looking back, I certainly came into this year already burning out, so under that lens it's not a surprise I've spent the last twelve months inexorably cindering along. Every word has felt like pulling my own teeth out, no matter how self-indulgent the project. Sometimes it has been dispiriting, but sometimes it has not.
I bounce off a particular segment of the rhetoric surrounding burnout in these spaces because it tends to valorise creation as an act of selfless altruism. I just don't believe that to be the case, and that we — as much as there can be a we underneath such a broad umbrella as this hobby — risk disappearing into a sort of blindered complacence concerning our own virtue when we convince ourselves otherwise. It is necessary to be kind, perhaps especially when we don't feel it, or it does not seem to come so naturally. But we should be honest about the make of our munificence and the weight of its impact in a worldly context. Posting fanfiction is a frivolity that doesn't in any scheme of reference amount to much; a fact that does not comprise an innate moral bearing. We should all on occasion enrich our and others' lives by doing things that don't matter. If nothing else, that gives substance its form.
Within the above lionisation lies the further inflection that it is struggle that gives our effort value and elevates our creations to 'art' — I don't find this to be true, either. Suffering doesn't dignify us any more than joy does. So in being burned out, and seeing conversations from peers who are or have been likewise, I've fostered from nascence a new distaste for how so few of us seem able to quantify humanity outside of a quality that can be denied. I pull my teeth out simply to speak from the mouth. The sun rises in the east and the pond ices in the freeze; the set follows to the west and the wet with the thaw. It is what it is and nothing else. Rather than dispelling the magic of it, I see that intangibility as the source of its awe.
So, maybe more public writing next year; I've saddled myself with a myriad wip docs. But who knows? Maybe not. Something I've enjoyed this year is watching the trickles and spates of kudos to my inbox as older things are discovered anew. That's the nice part of the permeable permanence of our current internet: you always feel you're heading forward even when you're stopped still, because people forever reach across time for stories to be told.
Total Published: 11
I think June was the first time I directly acknowledged I was burned out. But looking back, I certainly came into this year already burning out, so under that lens it's not a surprise I've spent the last twelve months inexorably cindering along. Every word has felt like pulling my own teeth out, no matter how self-indulgent the project. Sometimes it has been dispiriting, but sometimes it has not.
I bounce off a particular segment of the rhetoric surrounding burnout in these spaces because it tends to valorise creation as an act of selfless altruism. I just don't believe that to be the case, and that we — as much as there can be a we underneath such a broad umbrella as this hobby — risk disappearing into a sort of blindered complacence concerning our own virtue when we convince ourselves otherwise. It is necessary to be kind, perhaps especially when we don't feel it, or it does not seem to come so naturally. But we should be honest about the make of our munificence and the weight of its impact in a worldly context. Posting fanfiction is a frivolity that doesn't in any scheme of reference amount to much; a fact that does not comprise an innate moral bearing. We should all on occasion enrich our and others' lives by doing things that don't matter. If nothing else, that gives substance its form.
Within the above lionisation lies the further inflection that it is struggle that gives our effort value and elevates our creations to 'art' — I don't find this to be true, either. Suffering doesn't dignify us any more than joy does. So in being burned out, and seeing conversations from peers who are or have been likewise, I've fostered from nascence a new distaste for how so few of us seem able to quantify humanity outside of a quality that can be denied. I pull my teeth out simply to speak from the mouth. The sun rises in the east and the pond ices in the freeze; the set follows to the west and the wet with the thaw. It is what it is and nothing else. Rather than dispelling the magic of it, I see that intangibility as the source of its awe.
So, maybe more public writing next year; I've saddled myself with a myriad wip docs. But who knows? Maybe not. Something I've enjoyed this year is watching the trickles and spates of kudos to my inbox as older things are discovered anew. That's the nice part of the permeable permanence of our current internet: you always feel you're heading forward even when you're stopped still, because people forever reach across time for stories to be told.
四海重明 | Love's Rebellion
| 與狐謀皮 Mu Zhanting/Yin Ya | Explicit | 3500+ Since his wedding, Yin Ya breaks the osmanthus branch and mounts the dragon with him only in nature, claiming the outer affairs to Yun Nian's inner. linger; yield; again abide it Gen (N/A) | Teen | 1200+ "Laotou, what else? Of course this little fox has come to see you off." |
成化十四年 | The Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty
| 永远的鸣禽 Sui Zhou/Tang Fan | Teen | 1900+ "I'd suffer you," says Tang Fan. "Man or woman. Someone does have to." 狼吞虎咽 Sui Zhou/Tang Fan | Explicit | 2100+ Sui Zhou is not a cruel man, at least circumspect its facets he finds the most repugnant. a branch to stroke spring ground Sui Zhou/Tang Fan | Explicit | 1900+ Something pangs in Sui Zhou's chest; a gratitude he struggles to name. Tang Fan is— a tribulation. One that only the most endeared can in another heart engender. as thin as thread; as vast as waves Sui Zhou/Tang Fan | Mature | 2700+ For Tang Fan to hurt her— would not be untoward. Yet Sui Zhou wants to be soft, to be thought it; for Tang Fan's ministrations to baptise her as someone delicate, deserving of gentleness. dots a pearl of silver moon Sui Zhou/Tang Fan | Explicit | 1700+ "Sorry," says Sui Zhou again. Unnecessary now as it was at the first. But Tang Fan can forgive that, as well — she is blessed with a disposition that intimates towards the charitable. less flaunt than flame Sui Zhou/Tang Fan | Explicit | 2500+ She could not tell Sui Zhou a word of this, of course. For sake of face. Better to persist in mystery than try to prevail elaborating a momentary foolishness. moonrise over mountain high Sui Zhou/Tang Fan | Explicit | 2100+ The physicality of it matters little when Sui Zhou remains bound to her across any distance. pitching to kneel on the horizon Sui Zhou/Tang Fan | Teen | 3100+ You feel it all too much. under this precious roof Sui Zhou/Tang Fan | Explicit | 14,000+ After, when they are so far from the city that all that lies before them is the countryside and all that hangs overhead is the sky, Sui Zhou releases the breath he has been holding for all the days he has stopped counting. |